Probably the only band ever to be compared to both Gentle Giant and the Sex Pistols in one single sentence. It's a fitting description anyway, and I couldn't think of a better one. Try imagining what a combination of those two mentioned bands would sound like (if you don't know Gentle Giant try substituting with Marillion or similar) and you're probably already very close. Before I checked them out all I had was their name and various references to them being silly and a cross between old Genesis and the Sex Pistols and very very English. First thing I heard about them was the rumor that two of the band's leading members, Tim Smith and Sarah Smith, were brothers and sister and had an incestuous relationship, something they never attempted to clear up because of good publicity. Had the guilty journalist done his homework he would have found out that Sarah wasn't named Smith until the very day she married Tim. Ah yes, and of course Marillion fans seemed to hate them for some reason. During a tour in which the Cardiacs were the supporting act for Marillion, that band's fans tried to boo them off the stage. Reason for the Cardiacs to play just a bit longer than they were supposed to. Ain't that just great. Now, who with good taste wouldn't want to hear something like that? I most certainly did, and after having heard CD's like The Seaside and Songs for ships and irons I soon became a fan, discarding the "they're just a joke" attitude with a bold gesture and recognizing them as what they are; very talented songwriters and musicians, only with a sense of humour above average. Therefore, on this page I will take them as seriously as I can. Much of the Cardiacs' recorded material is available in mp3 format, but as most of the albums are still available in a legal way and this is a band that really deserves its royalties, I will only refer here to some FULLY LEGAL downloads from MP3.com, hoping that someone new to this band will take the time and effort to listen, and might even purchase some of the albums, for instance through the Cardiacs' official site

It all started 1977, when brothers Tim and Jim Smith formed a band together with some others. Line-ups would change constantly, but they were to remain the core until this very day. First recordings appeared as cassettes only: The obvious identity (1980), Toy world (1981), Archive Cardiacs (1983) and The seaside (1983).

 

Archive Cardiacs (rec. 1977-1979, rel. 1983 )

Aukamacic / Icky Qualms / Piffol four times / Scratching Crawling Scrawling / As cold as can be in an English sea / T.V.T.V. / My trade mark / The obvious identity / Piffol one time / A game for Bertie's party / Piffol three times / Rock around the clock

The CD-version of the tape with the same name from 1983 with songs from the first two tapes, when the band still called itself the Cardiac Arrest and had varying line-ups. Hearing these recordings, made between of 1977 and 1979, gives a good idea of the band's sound (mainly instrumental), style (which is straight, albeit very good, progrock much of the time) and influences of that period. This CD is perhaps the best introduction to this band for all those into progrock who haven't heard them before and agree it's about time they did but are afraid to be put off because they've heard The Cardiacs are so much different. Piffol four times and Piffol three times sound like Frank Zappa featuring Ruth Underwood songs, while even the most fanatic Yes-fans might be fooled hearing Piffol one time. A game for Bertie's party may appeal to Gentle Giant fans, as should Rock around the clock which thankfully has nothing to with the dreadful Bill Haley song. Most of the other songs may not remind me of anyone (although I'd like to mention XTC, don't ask me why) but that doesn't mean they're not enjoyable anyway. There's plenty of great music on this CD, and it definitely is a must for Cardiacs fans. If only some liner-notes had been included, for the very small printing that says who's playing what but not when is hardly satisfactory.

Download Piffol four times from MP3.com.

 

The seaside (rec. 1980-1983, rel. 1990)

JJibber and twitch / Gina Lollabrigida / Hello Mr. Sparrow / It's a lovely day / A wooden fish on wheels / Hope day / Ice a spot and a dot on the dog / R.E.S. / To go off and things

More tracks from the vaults, and again the line-ups differ making it (again) very unclear who's playing what on which moment. This CD-release of the other 1983's tape (although there are some omissions) is a bit of a different affair compared to the previous release. Songs have become more vocal (although it's shouting rather than singing) now, and it's impossible to confuse the band with others because they've become very recognizable by now. There are some real classics here, like It's a lovely day, To go off and things and R.E.S. which later was re-recorded for the band's first real album. The version represented here is superior, though.

Download To go off and things from MP3.com.

 

By this time this was released the band was in its most classic line-up: Tim Smith (guitar, vocals), Jim Smith (bass), Sarah Smith (sax), William D. Drake (keyboards), Dominic Luckman (drums) and Tim Quy (percussion).

 

Rude bootleg (1986)

The icing of the world / To go off and things / In a city lining / Tarred and feathered / Big ship / I'm eating in bed / Is this the life / The whole world window

Recorded at the Reading Festival in 1986 this live recording already has several songs from the first studio album, which was not released until two years later, and one (the majestic Big ship) from an EP that was only released a year later. Lots of classic songs here, mainly played similarly as they appear on record, but Tim's talking about fish and dogs and "girlies have titties" in between songs add a bit of atmosphere, and at times he's not right at the lyrics making these renditions a bit of "alternate versions". A great live recording, but perhaps an essential purchase for fanatics only.

Download Tarred and feathered from MP3.com.

 

Songs for ships and irons (rec. 1987, rel. 1991)

Big ship / Tarred and feathered / Burn your house brown / Stoneage dinosaurs / Plane plane against the grain / Everything is easy! / There's too many irons in the fire / All spectacular / Blind in safety and leafy in love / Loosefish scrapegrace / All his geese are swans!

1987 saw the release of the mini album Big ship and the 12" EP There's too many irons in the fire. In 1991 these two were included in their entirety on this new CD. As such, in places it sounds more like a compilation rather than like a "real" album. In fact it doesn't even sound like two EP's pasted together. Which doesn't mean this isn't a necessary purchase, 'cause it is, if only for the studio version of the wonderful Big ship. But there are other highlights, like the touching Stoneage dinosaurs and the live favorites Tarred and feathered, Everything is easy and There's too many irons in the fire. Some songs took me more time to get my full appreciation, but now I love them all.

Download Burn your house brown from MP3.com.

Download Blind in safety and leafy in love from MP3.com.

 

A little man and a house and the whole world window (1988)

A little man and a house / In a city lining / I'm eating in bed / Is this the life / Interlude / Dive / The icing on the world / The breakfast line / Victory Egg / R.E.S. / The whole world window

At last, their first real album, and it's a masterpiece. Not all songs are great, but again there are some real classics and those lesser songs may well need some time to appreciate. Is this the life is perhaps the best song the Cardiacs ever recorded and is worth the price of this CD alone. The ending of the album, starting with Victory egg, a new version of R.E.S. (still a great song although the last part of the original song is sadly missed here) and the emotional finale The whole world window, is breathtaking. For those who like modern prog and need another reason to listen to this record; the band thanks Martin Orford of IQ for the loan of his beautiful mellotron.

Download Is this the life from MP3.com.

 

Cardiacs Live (1988)

The icing on the world / To go off and things / In a city lining / Gina Lollabrigida / There's too many irons in the fire / Tarred and feathered / Goosegash / Loosefish scrapegrace / Cameras / Is this the life / Big ship

"Recorded Live at the "Paradiso" Amsterdam, Holland" is what the inlay says. Ladies and gentleman, please take note that there is no such country as "Holland". Jeez, is "The Netherlands" really that hard to remember? But apart from that annoying and almost unforgivable mistake, this is a great live album that I somehow rarely play, preferring Rude bootleg and the Maresnest video. My mistake really, as this one is excellent, and one can never have too much versions of Is this the life and Big ship. As far as I know, this is also the only way to get Goosegash and Cameras on CD.

Download Big ship from MP3.com.

 

On land and in the sea (1989)

Two bites of cherry / Baby heart dirt / The leader of the starry skys / I hold my love in my arms / The duck and Roger the horse / Arnald / Horsehead / Fast Robert / Mares nest / The stench of honey / Buds and spawn / The safety bowl / The everso closely guarded line

The second "real" album is again a masterpiece and perhaps even better than A little man... It's hardly any use to mention highlights, there's simply too many of them, but The duck and Roger the horse is probably the most chaotic and funniest thing they've ever done and Horsehead their weirdest. Oh, and there's an emotional finale again. What more can I say?

Download The everso closely guarded line from MP3.com.

 

All that glitters is a maresnest (video, 1990)

The duck and Roger the horse / There's too many irons in the fire / It's a lovely day / Everything is easy / I hold my love in my arms / Arnald / Baby heart dirt / To go off and things / The leader of the starry skys / Tarred and feathered / Fast Robert / Big ship / Visiting / R.E.S. / Is this life

The absolute highlight in the Cardiacs' career is this live video, 9which was recorded the very same day as Napalm Death recorded their Live Corruption video at the same location, in order to save their manager some money, and wasn't I lucky to find this rare collectors item for just a few bucks? There's also a CD of the same concert, which has two extra songs (Two Bites of Cherry & All Spectacular), but fans will definitely want the video version OR both. Usually I find rock videos to be quite boring, but in the case of the Cardiacs video is really the only medium that does justice to their live performances. Cast in the form of a documentary it is funnier than the hilarious classic This is Spinal Tap, with lots of insults for the audience, Jim-bashing and a great performance of the band at its peak. Just watching them do The duck and Roger the horse should make clear whether you like 'em or not. Alas, it was also the last recording of the band in it's classic line-up, as it was Tim Quy's last time he played with the band, Sarah had already left but returned for this one concert, and William would soon leave as well. Christian Hayes (guitar and vocals), who had joined the band in 1989, and is constantly and illegitimately referred to as a "she" in this video despite him being a male, left again in 1991.

Download Two bites of cherry from MP3.com.

 

With the departure of most of the others the Smith brothers and Dominic eventually were left to themselves, and they recruited a new guitarist (Jon Poole), using a backing tape at gigs to replace keyboards and various ex-members to record a new album.

 

Heaven born and ever bright (1992)

The Alphabet Business Concern (Home of fadeless splendour) / She is hiding behind the shed / March / Goodbye Grace / Anything I can't eat / Helen and heaven / Bodysbad / For good and all / Core / Day is gone / Snakes-a-sleeping

With Sarah, Christian and William still appearing as guests, this is very much business as usual. Never before did Cardiacs sound more pompous than in the first track of this album, which is a great opener. Still, I was disappointed with this release, and I find a few songs to be a bit weak. She is hiding behind the shed, for instance, and Goodbye Grace. Both are truly great in parts, but in other parts they annoy the hell out of me. But then Helen and heaven, For good and all, Day is gone and Snakes-a-sleeping are absolutely fan-tas-tic. Shame about those weaker spots, this could have been much better.

Download Goodbye Grace from MP3.com.

 

After this album Dominic left as well. A new drummer was found in the person of Bob Leith.

 

Sing to God (1995)

Part one: Eden on the air / Eat it up worms hero / Dog-like sparky / Fiery gun hand / Insect hoofs on Lassie / Fairy Mary mag / Bellyeye / A horses tail / Manhoo / Wireless

Part two: Dirty boy / Billion / Odd even / Bell stinks / Bell clinks / Flap off you beak / Quiet as a mouse / Angleworm angel / Red fire coming out from his gills / No gold / Nurses whispering verses / Foundling

This new line-up recorded a double album, Sing to God, that I was so stupid not to buy right away because of my feelings over the previous offering. But when I finally did get hold of it I found that those people who said that this was the best Cardiacs album ever could well be right. It's a double album, totalling about 90 minutes, and it's packed with some of the best songs they ever did. There are again some weaker songs too, but this time they don't irritate me. Just a few highlights are Eden on the air, Dog-like sparky, Fairy Mary mag, No gold and Foundling, to name just a few. Apparently you can also purchase the CD's seperately, but there really isn't a good excuse for that. It's a classic double album, not just a collection of songs spread out over two CD's. And it should be heard as a classic double album as well; in one go, without distractions or interuptions. This is art!

Download Angelworm angel from MP3.com.

I saw this band perform live in "Kikker" in Utrecht somewhere in 1998. They still played with a backing tape, which spoiled the spontanity of the event a bit for me. The songs came to the audience at a speed like they where fired from a machinegun. I was a little disappointed by the fact that Sarah was present to sell CD-s and t-shirts and all that, but did not join the band on stage. Still, a very enjoyable night, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that such an obscure band could attract such a crowd.

 

Guns (1999)

Spell with a shell / There's good Cud / Wind and rains is cold / Cry wet smile cry / Jitterbug (junior is a) / Sleep all eyes open / Come back Clammy Lammy / Clean that evil mud out your soul / Ain't he messy though / Signs / Song of a dead pest / Will bleed amen

Guns at first sounds very different from the previous records. Lots of female backing vocals and a distinct 1970's glamrock sound in many places, and some big punk influences in others, make this one often hardly recognizable as a Cardiacs record. It may take a while to like it, but I soon found songs like Wind and rains is cold and Ain't he messy though to be irresistable and I keep coming back to it, so eventually it might even become one of my favourite Cardiacs-albums. Isn't life just strange....Oh, and it has an extra track at the end that doesn't get mentioned anywhere.